How our thoughts influence our anxiety
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” (Proverbs 4:32). Our thoughts are informed by so many sources, the biggest of all our younger years. It is theorized that our upbringing and our parental bonds are some of the biggest influences on how we view ourselves, the story we tell ourselves about ourselves, internally. Do we believe that we are able to handle challenges, asking for help as we need it; or do we tend more on the side of uncertainty about ourselves? Do we feel like we are bothering or burdening others when we do need to ask for help? Or do we avoid asking for help altogether, deflecting or becoming angry because we are internally afraid of rejection if others knew who we really were?
Do any of the following thoughts sound familiar to you?
| I’m not lovable. | I have to be perfect. |
| I’m not good enough. | I am weak. |
| I’m shameful. | I’m worthless. |
| I should have known better. | I’m all alone. |
| I can’t protect myself. | I can’t trust anybody. |
| It’s not alright to show my emotions. | I have to do what other people say. |
Friend, if those thoughts sounded familiar to your ears, the Lord has such great compassion for you. His heart throbs with tender love and mercies for you, which are new every morning. He is likened to the shepherd who, upon realizing he had lost a single sheep from his giant flock, left the 99 other sheep and went to find the one sheep who was lost and alone. He is the Good Shepherd, and if you are His child, He has never left you alone for a moment. He wants to heal you of the wounds you have inside. He doesn’t expect you to sort those things out alone- He wants to carry you through processing all those thoughts about yourself that have grown from the way you have been mistreated by important people in your life.
Many of these above statements have meanings that no longer apply to a redeemed child of God.
Read through the following passage:
Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written,
“‘Man shall not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written,
“‘He will command his angels concerning you,’
and
“‘On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”
Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written,
“‘You shall worship the Lord your God
and him only shall you serve.’”
Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him.
Did you notice what was happening? The devil was serving these zingers over the net, “quoting” (read- misquoting) the Bible itself to Jesus. But Jesus immediately quoted the truths about who God is right back at the devil. And notice what else: Jesus hadn’t eaten for 40 days. The Son of Man was literally starving at this point in time. The devil came to tempt him at a time that Jesus was physically and mentally vulnerable. Our body feelings affect how we think, what we do, and our emotions, remember?
Rebuttals that God gives us
So, consider some of these rebuttals for yourself:
| I’m not lovable. | God has loved me with an everlasting love. |
| I’m not good enough. | God knew I wasn’t good enough, so He stepped in for me and paid that price for me. |
| I’m shameful. | There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. |
| I should have known better. | For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God… we all sin. |
| I can’t protect myself. | God hems you in and surrounds you with His protection. |
| It’s not alright to show my emotions. | God promises to comfort you in your afflictions |
| I have to be perfect. | …but you never are able to be. That’s why God has covered you with Jesus’s righteousness. You are accepted and loved. |
| I am weak | In your weakness, He is strong |
| I’m worthless. | God has called you precious and loved. He compares you to precious gemstones, and dances over you in delight. |
| I’m all alone. | You are a part of the body of Christ, and you have a cherished place in God’s family. |
| I can’t trust anybody. | God says not to put your trust in man, but to trust in the Lord always. |
| I have to do what other people say. | What’s most important is that you obey the Lord in all things. |
Our thought life is a major part of us that can consciously change and affect. Thoughts may drift into your head, but they don’t have to live in there rent-free. You can engage in thought fighting. “You become what your practice” is an adage that’s attributed to Epictatus, a Stoic philosopher. And it’s absolutely true. The thoughts we repeatedly have shape the connections within our brains’ neurons. Pathways that fire together, wire together. The more you entertain a thought and replay that thought in your head, the stronger it becomes.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:2
Thought Fighting- what’s true and helpful?
I was prepping meals the other day, and I had tossed some chopped onions in a pot and dumped some broth in to cook them. Only after I took a whiff of the pot a few minutes later did I discover that the broth had gone bad. But by then, it wasn’t enough to drain the onions and cook it in new broth. The rancid flavor of the broth had cooked its way into the onions. Blegh! Allowing worldly wisdom and advice to teach our hearts is something that just happens as a matter of course while living in this world, we don’t need to work at it. We see it on TV, hear it out of other people’s mouths, read about it online and in books, see it on billboards while driving down the road, etc., etc. And what is some of this seemingly good wisdom that we are inundated with everyday? Follow your heart. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Your worth is in your work…or your things, or your relationships, or your kids. You can make your own truth. You can only count on yourself at the end of the day. If you’re rich, you’re successful. Happiness is the most important thing in life.
But Paul wrote to the church at Colossae, urging them to “see to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily”. Instead, “we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But how? And now we come full circle to thought fighting.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Philippians 4:6-8
God has given us a blueprint to use in testing our thoughts. Is this true? Is this honorable? Is this just? Pure? Lovely? Commendable or worthy of praise? Is this excellent? If so, think about these things! On the other hand, if your answer to any of those is no, then what is more helpful and more true to think instead? Turn to the promises of God in the scriptures to help you fight thoughts that aren’t pointing you to the Lord. Check some of these out:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am Your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are set on You, because they trust in you.”
Isaiah 62:3
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My loving eye on you.”
Psalm 32:8
“The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him;
though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with His hand.”
Psalm 37:23-24
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14
And this is only such a small sampling! These are words that you were meant to hear from the Lord, because they are in your Bible. God describes His Word like a sword, “able to pierce through bone and marrow” (Ephesians 6). His Word is powerful and able to cut to the heart of the issue. Use the promises from His word in rebuking thoughts that are not true or helpful.
I encourage you to take some time and google “negative self-talk examples”. Use this to take inventory of which statements tend to float around in your head. Write them out below. See where you can counter these with the truths about your worth from God’s word, and write these out, too. They may not feel true to you, but forming a habit of thinking a different way is going to take time and repeated, intentional practice. As a word of caution, if you are really struggling with this exercise, you might need help from a close friend, loved one, or even a licensed counselor to help you start to combat these thoughts.
Our only hope in this fight is clinging, body and soul, to King Jesus. He paid the price that we could not pay so we could live in relationship with Him. And He did not just win us a “get into heaven free” card. He came to give you abundant life now. (John 10:10). He has declared that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself”. (1 Corinthians 5:17-18) You are a new creation, and you are not alone with your thoughts.
Check out the blog post tomorrow as I continue to take a look at how to honor God with our actions.
Fox Family Counseling 